Repo Men

Imagine a future where medical science has advanced by leaps and bounds, and a person can replace any of their body parts, no matter how essential. One company, The Union, can supply anything you need. If you’re vain, they can perfect you. If you’re dying, they can save you. Eyes, ears, heart, lungs – hell, [...]

The Crazies

The Crazies opens with a scene of Main Street in Ogden Marsh, Iowa and it is ablaze. Bodies are strewn in the street, cars destroyed, and there’s not a soul in site. Clearly something horrible has already happened, but what? The story then picks up two days earlier with David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant), the Sheriff [...]

The Wolfman

Let’s be honest with ourselves. You’re not watching The Wolfman to see Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins at the top of their game. Admit it. You’re going to see it because there’s going to be a couple cool werewolf transformation scenes, some decent scares, and a few severed heads being swatted across the screen. [...]

Silent Hill

One of the most disturbing trends in film over the past 15 years is the sheer abundance of cinematic bilge that has been churned out to cash in on a popular video game. Take for instance House of the Dead, Resident Evil, and Alone in the Dark. These steaming piles of celluloid are from the past few years alone. Such films set the bar so…

Casanova

The plot, however flimsy it is, unfolds when Casanova is captured after yet another conquest at a local nunnery. The local magistrate is eager to finally be rid of him, thus Casanova is and sentenced to be hanged for his debauchery. Guilty though he may be, Casanova has friends in high places…

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

My childhood memories of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe evoke two different emotions in me: first, I remember my second grade teacher (and first love) reading to us after lunch time…so I was of course doubly enthralled by the experience. My second, and most vivid memory, is of crying my eyes out while…

The Ice Harvest

The story opens in the present with Charlie scanning the frozen plains near Wichita, Kansas while he waxes philosophical about the possibility of pulling of the perfect crime. As the film flashes back to the previous day in which the story unfolds you’ll soon realize that Charlie’s definition of “perfect” is about as accurate as that of a drunken frat boy wearing…

Doom

Video games have never been my forte, but that fact did not keep me from spending hour after hour playing Doom 2 on my girlfriend’s computer during my first Junior year of college. I was a terrible, terrible player – but my hand/eye coordination issues were supplemented by my brazenly unabashed use of “cheat codes” that were built into the game for players such as me. This approach worked fine for me because my object in playing…

The Cave

The acting is on par with what you’d expect of this type of film, which is to say that only after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have ridden will an Academy Award® be sitting on anyone’s mantel for their performance in “The Cave.” This however, is as it should be…because no one going into this movie is expecting to see “Citizen Kane.” This film’s draw is all about its plotless premise and the ensuing carnage, not about…

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